New Members' Aptitude Test (While this was written by Choir Director Paul Zorowich, with a
church choir in mind, it should give all of you a chuckle.) In order to measure your level of
proficiency as a member of a choral group, the following test has been carefully developed by
experts. Read and reflect on each situation, then select the option that will enhance the quality of the
performance. You are in a choir processional and suddenly trip on your robe and fall down. You should:
1. Assume a kneeling position and break into fervent prayer.
2. Pretend that you've had a heart attack.
3. Crawl into the nearest pew.
4. Begin speaking in tongues.
You are a soprano and count incorrectly. As a result you boom out a high C a measure too soon. You
should:
1. Slide into an inspired "O For A Thousand Tongues To Sing."
2. Look triumphant and hold that note.
3. Stop abruptly in mid-squawk but keep your lips moving.
4. Sink to the floor in shame.
The person sharing your music in rehearsal had a garlic tamale for lunch. You should:
1. Complain of lack of air, grab your throat, fall convulsed on the floor, and mutter "garlic, ugh, garlic..."
2. Pass the offender a hymnal opened to "Purify Me, Lord."
3. Sing without inhaling.
4. Say "I detect garlic tamale on your breath. Do you have a recipe for that?"
While singing, you discover that the librarian has provided only one page of a two-page hymn. You
should:
1. Hum for your life.
2. Sing "Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon."
3. Improvise a descant on "ooo."
4. Try to get a hymnal out of the chair rack with your foot.
Inevitably, the dreaded big sneeze occurs toward the end of "God Be In My Head." You should:
1. As you sneeze, stomp down on your neighbor's instep to cause a diversion.
2. Cram your stole into your mouth to muffle the noise.
3. Try to sneeze in harmony.
4. It doesn't really matter -- the director will dismiss you anyway.
 

Music Schedule:
*** Children’s Ring & Sing is off during this month
Wednesday, March 3
Midweek Lenten Service: 7:00 PM - Chancel Choir
Thursday, March 4
6:50 PM - English Handbell Choir rehearsal
7:40 PM - Chancel Choir rehearsal
Sunday, March 7
8:30 - Special Music
10:30 - Chancel Choir
Thursday, March 11
6:50 PM - English Handbell Choir rehearsal
7:40 PM - Chancel Choir rehearsal
Sunday, March 14
8:30 - Chancel Choir
10:30 - Bell Choir
11:30 - Praise Band rehearsal
Thursday, March 18
6:50 PM - English Handbell Choir rehearsal
7:40 PM - Chancel Choir rehearsal
Sunday, March 21
8:30 - Special Music
10:30 - Chancel Choir
11:30 - Praise Band rehearsal
Thursday, March 25
6:50 PM - English Handbell Choir rehearsal
7:40 PM - Chancel Choir rehearsal
Sunday, March 28
8:30 - Chancel Choir
10:30 - Chancel Choir